Angel
by Handy-for-the-bus
Summary: What would have happened if Anna had been sicker than anyone realized? When Bates brings the tray, and she doesn't answer he is worried. He breaks all the rules to make sure she is taken care of that night. AU, set in series 1 ep 4.


**A/N:** THANK YOU so much my Twin Beef, a-lady-to-me, for everything :D

**Disclaimer:** DA and its characters belong to Julian Fellowes.

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Anna really was worthy of such determination. As John climbed the stairs with difficulty, he thought that she deserved every bit of this gentleman's gesture... Who was his trying to fool? This was no gentleman anything, this was a gesture of pure love and dedication. The love and dedication he felt for her with all his being.

Earlier in that same day, Anna had been taken ill and Mrs Hughes had sent her to her room. John was sure that Anna must have been disappointed because she really wanted to go to the fair. In one of their many conversations she told him that she loved fairs; especially the toffee apples, the smell of all the sweets mixed together in the air, and the children's laughter.

As John continued to climb the stairs with the tray secured in both hands, and his cane hanging on his left arm; he looked down at the flowers and wondered if perhaps it wasn't too much? _No, surely it's not._ Anna deserved every bit of romanticism...he sighed. Perhaps the flowers were too much, indeed. Not because she didn't deserve them, but because romance was impossible between them. Not in his situation...not now nor ever.

These thoughts always made his heart bleed in the most horrible and painful way of all. He could live a thousand years or more, and Anna Smith would never be his.

Reaching the top of the stairs, he sighed in both sadness and pain. His leg was going to be sore tomorrow, but in all honesty he couldn't care less. For on the other side of the division door the love of his life was sick and needed to be spoiled. If only he was totally and one hundred percent free to spoil her in all the ways he wanted, and all the ways she deserved.

John took a deep breath. Using all his concentration he took the tray in one hand; balancing it as best as he could, and with the other he knocked.

Thank God Miss O'Brien was downstairs, and the kitchen women slept on the other end of the corridor. They would never hear his soft knocks.

He knocked once, twice, thrice, and nothing. He knocked two more times; stronger so she could hear it better...and nothing. He called her name twice, and the answer never came.

John even tried to see through the door's smoky glass, but he failed. Glass made purposely for men not to pry into the women's corridor.

John sighed; he was disappointed. He had taken his time to prepare the tray, without being seen, and he had gone outside to catch some of the flowers; which had taken its time because most of them were closed due to the lack of sunlight. Now he stood there, at the top of the stairs. Stairs that took forever to climb with the help of his cane, and even more time without it.

He knocked one more time, but now he was worried.

_What if she's in there and needs to be taken care of? Perhaps she's only sleeping…_

He sighed once more and turned to the stairs, ready to leave. He looked back to the door and then started to descend the stairs, ever so heavily.

_'Mr Bates.'_

He froze for a moment and then turned back. No one was there. He swore he had… _it was Anna's voice, wasn't it?_

He climbed the two steps that he had descended, and tried to look through the smoky glass again.

'Anna?' He whispered, but no reply was heard.

John was confused. Was he going mad? Did he love her so that he now was imagining the sound of her sweet voice?

And with all the thoughts that were rumbling in his head; all of a sudden his heart started to race, and he felt sick.

_Go in there, John Bates. She needs you._

Now he was definitely going mad, but that voice inside his head was insistent, or even impossible to silence.

With a wave of heavy energy he placed the tray on a little table that was in the entrance of the men's corridor. As soon as his hands were free he jumped to the doorknob trying his best to open it without making much noise.

He shook the door, and noticed that it wasn't too steady. It would be easy to open without much noise.

He took the pocketwatch from his vest, and untangled the chain from its pin. Then he put it through the keyhole and frowned his brow in concentration. One click, two clicks, and finally the knob turned fully; making John's lips turn into a triumphant smile.

He hung his cane on his arm, and held the tray once again after putting his watch in his trouser pocket so he could fix it later. He entered the women's corridor as silently as he could.

Once in there he started looking for Anna's room, and he finally found it. It was the third room and when he looked at the door he felt sick again.

He knocked gently, but was greeted by silence. He pushed in.

The sight before him made his stomach twist. Anna was in bed, half covered, her hair was stuck to her face in a sweaty mess, and she was whispering some incomprehensible words.

John placed the tray on the vanity table, rested his cane on the wall, and ran for Anna as fast as he could.

'Anna? Anna, can you hear me?' He asked, shaking her shoulders gently, and cringing at how immensely hot she was. All she could do was babble.

Looking around the room he saw the water jug, and widened his eyes upon its sight. He reached for it and smiled in relief when he saw that it was full of fresh water. The last thing he needed now was to get out of the room to fetch some water with the possibility of being seen.

Once he had poured the water into the vase he dragged a chair next to the bed, and sat on it placing the vase on Anna's nightstand.

'You'll be alright, Anna. I promise.' John said, drenching some towel he had found.

'Mr Bates?'

'It's me. It's me Anna. You'll be alright.'

'Mr Bates, I don't...'

'Shhh. Don't speak...' John placed the drenched towel on her forehead.

'Am I dreaming?'

'No, Anna, you are not. You are burning in fever.' He replied looking at her tenderly.

'But I must be dreaming, Mr Bates.'

'You are not.' He smiled, thinking she was coming around.

'I always dream of you... coming into my room in the middle of the night...'

John almost gasped at such a confession. Surely this was a trick of such high fever, he thought.

He drenched the cloth again, and gently patted her face with it.

'Here...this will make you feel better.'

'I...I must...' Anna tried to sit up but John held her down.

'What are you doing, Anna? Don't. Stay there.'

'I have work to do...' and with that she fainted in his arms.

'Oh God! Anna?!'

He shook her, but she didn't answer.

'Oh God, oh God...'

Laying her down in place again, John stood up from the chair and uncovered her. He then rolled up her sleeves as much as he could and took another towel that was hanging on a peg, drenched both in water, and placed them over her burning arms.

_I should call someone... I should..._

He looked down at her legs and took a deep breath. In a bold motion he lifted her nightgown a little over her knees, took the towels from her arms, drenched them again, and placed them over her legs. Even in all his nervous haste he couldn't help but notice how perfect her legs were. How beautifully shaped, and how soft they must be..._Oh John, please!_

As he tried to keep her legs cool his right hand accidentally grazed her knee, and as he did so he could feel a jolt of hot energy running through his body. The insides of his belly were swaying to the rhythm of some soundless melody. Was this the famous butterflies that people felt when they were in love? Indeed it was. They were hot and flying around. He couldn't make them stop which was making him even more nervous.

_You are a grown up man and you should be able to control yourself in such situation. She's sick and she needs you to be serious and not act like some silly teenager...this is wrong, this is very wrong._

Controlling all his nerves and anxieties he dipped his hands in the water, and started flecking water all over her face, neck, arms and in the little that was visible of her chest.

'Please Anna...talk to me...' he begged caressing her face with his wet open palms. 'Say something...please love, say something.'

XXXXXX

'Here... are you warm enough?'

'I am now, thank you.' She smiled at him.

'You gave me a fright you know?' He chuckled.

'Thank God you know how to breach doors!' Anna teased him and let out a low laugh.

'Thank God, indeed.'

They both sighed in unison and giggled at it.

'The food is cold...' he said looking at the tray that was forgotten on top of the vanity table. ', but the milk, bread and cheese are still good if you want to eat some…please?'

'I'll accept the milk.' She nodded her head.

John stood up from the chair and walked towards the vanity table.

'...and the flowers.'

She looked up at him. Her eyes were glistening when he looked back at her. He smiled.

After placing the flowers on her nightstand, and handing her the glass of milk, he grabbed the towels that were now lying on the floor, still soaked, and tried to fold them as best as he could.

'Thank you for the flowers, Mr Bates.' She said between sips.

'You're welcome….I thought...I thought you would like them.'

'I love them.' She looked over at her nightstand, smiling at the little vase.

John only nodded, placing the towels, now folded, on the floor next to the door so he could take them to dry once he left.

'I must go back.' He said.

'Stay until I sleep. It's still early. They won't be back for another two hours.' Her eyes were pleading and shining like the sun, and he couldn't say no to her.

He sighed and sat down on the chair again, facing the vase of flowers.

'You don't have to stay if you don't want to.'

'I want to.' He smiled. Indeed, he wanted. He wanted to stay there forever, watching her sleeping. Perhaps even joining her in...no. Don't even think about it.

The smile she gave him made his heart swell with love for her. He was always proven wrong every time he thought he couldn't love her more.

'Mr Bates?' Her gentle voice shook him from his thoughts. 'I've heard...you called me love...but...I'll pretend you didn't, if that makes you more comfortable.' She smiled mischievously at him, but also honestly.

'I did call you...that, Anna... and I did it with intention.' He said dropping his gaze to the floor.

And for the first time in all her life, she didn't have an answer. She smiled inwardly and laid down.

Next time John looked at her she was sleeping. Her soft breaths causing a lock of hair that had fallen in her face to sway. He leaned towards her from his chair, and brushed the lock ever so gently behind her ear, caressing as he withdraw from her. And as he did he was hypnotized by her angelic, and peaceful image. He could only stare and dream.

Her face was pale, and she had dark circles under her eyes; her hair was a mess, but she'd never looked so beautiful as she did in that very moment. So beautiful and precious he felt the tears burning in his eyes.

XXXXXX

'Mr Bates?' The voice behind him sounded awfully shocked. He turned to face her.

'Gwen!'

'What on Earth...'

'Ssshhh. Please, close the door.' John begged standing up.

Oh God! He had fallen asleep as well. After spending a good half hour admiring Anna.

'Please don't report me, Gwen. I can explain.' He whispered.

Gwen closed the door behind her and crossed her arms, looking at Anna sleeping. She frowned her brow.

'Tell me then.' She whispered back.

'I've been taking care of her...I brought her a tray with some food, and when I knocked on the door no one answered. I called for her and nothing.' He breathed in, smoothing his hair that was now loosened.

'Go on...'

'Well, I came in and she..' he pointed at Anna as if Gwen didn't know who he was talking about. 'She was burning with fever, delirious, in such a state that I couldn't help but take care of her...I thought about calling someone, I did, but then, in the end, there was no need. She recovered.' He said looking at Anna again. 'She's better now, she just fall asleep, not five minutes ago.' He lied.

Gwen was looking at him with some disbelief, but Mr Bates was always such an honorable man, with such gentleman ways…

'But...how did you come in if the corridor's door was locked?'

He shook his head thinking for a moment. 'You see, it wasn't. As soon as I tried to open it, I just did. It was...unlocked. Mrs Hughes must have forgotten.' He smiled nervously.

'She never forgets about the door.'

'There's always a first time for everything… even Mrs Hughes has her flaws.'

'Alright. I won't say a thing.'

'Thank you Gwen. You can talk with Anna tomorrow, and her story will match mine.'

'Not the part where you tried to open the door, and it wasn't locked.' Gwen raised an eyebrow.

'No, not that part. But the rest.' He smiled. Gwen, you are too smart for your own good, he thought. He liked her though. She was a nice girl and a very good friend.

'Come on Mr Bates. I'll check the corridor so you can go to bed yourself.'

'Thank you Gwen.'

Gwen stepped outside the door into the corridor; she looked both ways and gestured with her hand that he was free to go.

Silently, and as fast as he could he exited the corridor. Once he reached the division door he looked back and thanked Gwen. She nodded, and locked the door once he was on the other side, safe and sound.

'What are you doing there?' Miss O'Brien's voice made Gwen jump.

'I'm...I am checking if the door is locked, Miss O'Brien.'

'Silly girl, as if old Mrs Hughes would forget such a thing.' The lady's maid huffed and closed the door of her room behind her.

As she did Gwen sighed in relief. Indeed Mrs Hughes would never forget to lock the door…

XXXXXX

'How are you feeling today?' Asked Gwen when Anna lazily stretched her arms in the air.

'Much better...not all good, but much better.'

'Good.'

'It almost looks like some angel took care of me while you were gone.' Anna smiled only to herself.

'By angel you mean...Mr Bates?'

Anna looked at her friend with wide eyes, and a shocked look on her face and as soon as Gwen raised her brow at her they started laughing.

'You will have to tell me everything!' Demanded Gwen excitedly, sitting down in the chair that John has used last night.

And once Anna finished telling the happenings of last night all Gwen could do was sigh.

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**Thank you for reading. Hope you liked it :)**


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